I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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