the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
