You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
