i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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