Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
