Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
