Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
