My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
