Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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