I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
