Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
