break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
