are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
