I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
