I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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