I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
