if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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