did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
