You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
