He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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