well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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