don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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