True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize