Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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