This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
