there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
