i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
