I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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