"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
