Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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