I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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