when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize