I love black thongs
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
