FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
