I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
