so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
