my sisters under your porch take her home
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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