so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
