if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
