is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The air was thick with penises
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
