just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
