why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize