I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
