So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And then my night got REAL pukey
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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