so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
