Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize