I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
