Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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