apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
