the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
