I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I touched a dick in church today
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
