I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
