im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
