I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
