I accidentally had phone sex last night
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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