Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
