I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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