she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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