i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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