I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
