The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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