Can Purell be used as lube?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize