she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
