it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
